 |
|
| |
Doctor jokes, information about new tabs, best pills price |
|
|
Added: 2007-Mar-28 , 11:34
We need to help these people 
 A doctor and a nurse were called to the scene of an accident.
Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital now!
Nurse: What is it?
Doctor: It is a big building with a lot of doctors, but that is not important now!
|
|
 |
Added: 2007-Mar-14 , 12:05
stimul media
How does it work?
Easy. You can build your own web shop selling pharmacy in 10 minutes - we will give you instructions to make the web site building process easy, simple and fun! No programming, you will set up your store in a matter of minutes! Or you can simply drive traffic to one of our websites.
Why join?
- YOUR OWN WEB SHOP IN 10 MINUTES – no kidding, you will get a ready designed affiliate store, and all you have to do is to directly upload your web shop to your FTP account. Everything you need to set a website is right here!
- A SIMPLE SET UP - anyone can get started in the next 10 minutes, no matter what your experience is!
- DEFINE YOUR PRICE - we set the minimal price on drugs, and you decide on the price of the products you sell in your affiliate web shop. By selling the drugs just at a slightly increased price you will make your profit. Making money doesn't get any easier than this!
- REFERRAL PROGRAM – get payments from your referral's sales!
- WEEKLY PAYMENTS – we are accurate and prompt at paying
- A NICE ADDED BENEFIT – you can choose between 10 design themes of your Affiliate Store
…You are moments away from having a PERSONAL web shop! And that is not all. You will NOT spend a dime to get it. "Fantastic!", you say. - You're absolutely right!
How much will you earn?
The sky is the limit! Yes, you read that correctly. You will earn INCREDIBLE money with us; your profits are only determined by:
- The price you set on the products: define your price 10-15-20% higher and get this difference + a commission from sale
- The quantity of the products you sell at this price
Simple, really. However, you'll never know until you try.
STIMUL MEDIA
|
|
|
Added: 2007-Mar-6 , 10:49
MAKE YOUR THERAPIST PAY WITH THESE HANDY TIPS
MAKE YOUR THERAPIST PAY WITH THESE HANDY TIPS
1 After everything he says, say, "And how does that make you feel?"
2 Repeatedly tell him to look at the ceiling. When he finally does, repeatedly tell him to look at the chair. When he finally does, repeatedly tell him to look at the desk, etc...
3 Refuse to cooperate unless he trades his pants.
4 Point at random things and say, "Where did you get that?"
5 Try to talk him into sitting on the floor.
6 Tell him you think his secretary is really a man.
7 Take random objects in his office and glue them to the floor.
8 Bring pots and pans and bang them together when he asks a question you don't like.
9 Complain that his chair looks more comfortable.
10 Sit underneath your chair.
|
|
|
Added: 2007-Feb-11 , 08:58
A SLIGHTLY CONFUSING SITUATION
|
An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory.
After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.
The couple thanked the doctor and left.
Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, "Where are you going?"
He replied, "To the kitchen."
She asked, "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
He replied, "Sure."
She then asked him, "Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?"
He said, "No, I can remember that."
She then said, "Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you'll forget that."
He said, "I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
She replied, "Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down."
With irritation in his voice, he said, "I don't need to write that down! I can remember that." He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs.
She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: "I TOLD you to write it down! You forgot my toast!"
|
|
|
|
Added: 2007-Jan-29 , 12:01
A dentist
A dentist
A dentist noticed that his next patient, an elderly lady, was looking very nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't" she replied.
Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in China with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."
She didn't crack a smile.
"Oh, well. I tried," he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the dental procedure, she burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
I was just picturing how condoms are made!" she said.
|
|
|
Added: 2007-Jan-24 , 09:56
A Condom
Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Maude: What in the hell is that?
Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Maude: Where did you get it?
Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."
|
|
|
Added: 2007-Jan-19 , 11:33
I've got good and bad
I've got good and badThis old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?"
Patient: Well, give me the bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left.
Patient: That's terrible! In two years, my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this?
Doctor: You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you.
|
|
|
Added: 2007-Jan-11 , 12:46
Grandma and Grandpa
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in His son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.
The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive".
"How much?" asked Grandpa.
"$ 10.00 a pill," answered the son.
"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."
Later the next morning, the son found $110..00 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00."
"I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma."
|
|
|
Added: 2007-Jan-10 , 12:51
Face lift
Face lift
A Realtor in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift.
The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob", where a small knob is placed on the top of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob." Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems:
"All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them."
The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts."
She said, "Well, I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee....."
|
|
|
Added: 2007-Jan-10 , 12:51
Medicare Health Insurance
Medicare Health Insurance
Medicare Health Insurance, in a nutshell:
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello."
"Mrs. Ward, please." "Speaking"
"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory.
When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which your husband's is."
"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Ward.
"Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.”
|
|
|
Added: 2007-Jan-6 , 10:50
A dentist
A dentist noticed that his next patient, an elderly lady, was looking very nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't" she replied.
Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in China with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."
She didn't crack a smile.
"Oh, well. I tried," he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the dental procedure, she burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked.
I was just picturing how condoms are made!" she said.
|
|
|
Added: 2007-Jan-5 , 03:01
Anti-Acidity: Nexium, Prevacid, Prilosec, Zyloprim
Buy Now Pills
Nexium
Esomeprazole is in a class of drugs called proton pump inhibitors (PPIs) which block the production of acid by the stomach. Other drugs in the same class include omeprazole (Prilosec), lansoprazole (Prevacid), rabeprazole (Aciphex) and pantoprazole more>>
Nexium 30 pills x 20 mg
Nexium 180 pills x 40 mg
Prevacid
Lansoprazole is in a class of drugs called proton pump inhibitors (PPI) which block the production of acid by the stomach. Other drugs in the same class include rabeprazole (Aciphex), omeprazole (Prilosec), pantoprazole (Protonix), and esomeprazole more>>
Prilosec
Omeprazole is in a class of drugs called proton pump inhibitors (PPI) which block the production of acid by the stomach. Other drugs in the same class include lansoprazole (Prevacid), rabeprazole (Aciphex), pantoprazole (Protonix), and esomeprazole more>>
Zyloprim
Allopurinol is used to lower blood uric acid levels. Uric acid is a breakdown product of purines in foods. Uric acid forms crystals in the tissues of the body to cause the inflammation of gout. Elevated blood uric acid levels can also cause kidney more>>
|
|
|
Added: 2006-Dec-22 , 10:52
Zovirax-aciclovir
Aciclovir (INN) or acyclovir (USAN, former BAN) is a guanine analogue antiviral drug primarily used for the treatment of herpes simplex virus infection. It is one of the most commonly-used antiviral drugs, and is marketed under trade names such as Zovirax and Zovir (GSK).
Aciclovir was seen as the start of a new era in antiviral therapy, as it is extremely selective and low in cytotoxicity. Pharmacologist Gertrude B. Elion was awarded the 1988 Nobel Prize in Medicine partly for the development of aciclovir.
Pharmacology
Mechanism of action
Aciclovir differs from previous nucleoside analogues in that it contains only a partial nucleoside structure ?C the sugar ring is replaced by an open-chain structure. It is selectively converted into a monophosphate form by viral thymidine kinase, which is far more effective (3000 times) in phosphorylation than cellular thymidine kinase. Subsequently, the monophosphate form is further phosphorylated into the active triphosphate form, aciclo-GTP, by cellular kinases. Aciclo-GTP is a very potent inhibitor of viral DNA polymerase; it has approximately 100 times higher affinity to viral than cellular polymerase. Its monophosphate form also incorporates into the viral DNA, resulting in chain termination. It has also been shown that the viral enzymes cannot remove aciclo-GMP from the chain, which results in inhibition of further activity of DNA polymerase. Aciclo-GTP is fairly rapidly metabolised within the cell, possibly by cellular phosphatases.
Therefore, aciclovir can be considered a prodrug ?C it is administered in an inactive (or less active form) and is metabolised into a more active species after administration.
Microbiology
Aciclovir is active against most species in the herpesvirus family. In descending order of activity:[1]
Herpes simplex virus type I (HSV-1)
Herpes simplex virus type II (HSV-2)
Varicella zoster virus (VZV)
Epstein-Barr virus (EBV)
Cytomegalovirus (CMV)
Activity is predominately active against HSV, and to a lesser extent VZV. It is only of limited efficacy against EBV and CMV. It is inactive against latent viruses in nerve ganglia.
To date, resistance to aciclovir has not been clinically significant. Mechanisms of resistance in HSV include deficient viral thymidine kinase; and mutations to viral thymidine kinase and/or DNA polymerase, altering substrate sensitivity.[2]
Pharmacokinetics
Aciclovir is poorly water soluble and has poor oral bioavailability (10?C20%), hence intravenous administration is necessary if high concentrations are required. When orally administered, peak plasma concentration occurs after 1?C2 hours. Aciclovir has a high distribution rate, only 30% is protein-bound in plasma. The elimination half-life of aciclovir is approximately 3 hours. It is renally excreted, partly by glomerular filtration and partly by tubular secretion.
Clinical use
Indications
Aciclovir is indicated for the treatment of HSV and VZV infections, including:[3]
Genital herpes simplex (treatment and prophylaxis)
Labial herpes simplex (cold sores)
Herpes zoster (shingles)
Acute chickenpox in immunocompromised patients
Herpes simplex encephalitis
Acute mucocutaneous HSV infections in immunocompromised patients
Herpes simplex keratitis
It has been claimed that the evidence for the effectiveness of topically applied cream for recurrent labial outbreaks is weak.[4] Likewise oral therapy for episodes is inappropriate for most non-immunocompromised patients, whilst there is evidence for oral prophylactic role in preventing recurrences.[5]
Dosage forms
Aciclovir is commonly marketed as tablets (200 mg and 400 mg), topical cream (5%), intravenous injection (25 mg/mL) and ophthalmic ointment (3%). Cream preparations are used primarily for labial herpes simplex. The intravenous injection is used when high concentrations of aciclovir are required. The ophthalmic ointment preparation is only used for herpes simplex keratitis.
Adverse effects
Systemic therapy
Common adverse drug reactions (??1% of patients) associated with systemic aciclovir therapy (oral or IV) include: nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea and/or headache. In high doses, hallucinations have been reported. Infrequent adverse effects (0.1?C1% of patients) include: agitation, vertigo, confusion, dizziness, oedema, arthralgia, sore throat, constipation, abdominal pain, rash and/or weakness. Rare adverse effects (<0.1% of patients) include: coma, seizures, neutropenia, leukopenia, crystalluria, anorexia, fatigue, hepatitis, Stevens-Johnson syndrome, toxic epidermal necrolysis and/or anaphylaxis.[3]
Additional common adverse effects, when aciclovir is administered IV, include encephalopathy (1% of patients) and injection site reactions. The injection formulation is alkaline (pH 11), and extravasation may cause local tissue pain and irritation.[3] Renal impairment has been reported when aciclovir is given in large, fast doses intravenously, due to the crystallisation of aciclovir in the kidneys.
Topical therapy
Aciclovir topical cream is commonly associated (??1% of patients) with: dry or flaking skin and/or transient stinging/burning sensations. Infrequent adverse effects include erythema and/or itch.[3]
When applied to the eye, aciclovir is commonly associated (??1% of patients) with transient mild stinging. Infrequently (0.1?C1% of patients), ophthalmic aciclovir is associated with superficial punctate keratitis and/or allergic reactions.[3]
Toxicity
Since aciclovir can be incorporated also into the cellular DNA, it is a chromosome mutagen, therefore, its use should be avoided during pregnancy. However it has not been shown to cause any teratogenic nor carcinogenic effects. The acute toxicity (LD50) of aciclovir when given orally is greater than 1 mg/kg, due to the low oral bioavailability. Single cases have been reported, where extremely high (up to 80 mg/kg) doses have been accidentally given intravenously without causing any major adverse effects
Viral illnesses differ from bacterial infections in that viruses are not living organisms, but rather take over living cells and reproduce themselves, often at the expense of the host cell.
Acyclovir is an antiviral drug which acts against the Herpes...buy it!
Zovirax 240 pills x 800 mg
Famvir 30 pills x 250 mg
|
|
|
|
|
Added: 2006-Dec-22 , 10:38
Only Humans Stutter
Only Humans Stutter
Little Johnny is sitting in biology class, when his teacher states the fact that only humans stutter, and no other animal in the world does.
Johnny raises his hand and says. "You're wrong, Miss Finch!"
"Really, would you mind telling us why that is Johnny?"replies the teacher.
"Well, Miss Finch, the other day I was playing with my cat on the porch. The neighbors' Rottweiler came around the corner, and my cat went 'fffff! fffff! fffff!', and before he could say 'Fuck!', the dog ate him!"
|
|
|
Added: 2006-Dec-8 , 14:04
A man comes to a doctor
A man comes to a doctor because of sore throat. The doctor tells him to pull down his pants and to swing his genitals in the window. "What does this have to do with my throat?" "Nothing, I just hate the neighbors."
|
|
|
Added: 2006-Dec-8 , 14:04
At a local college
At a local college, there was a dance. A guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call this a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too." A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call this a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too." Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich". She says, "Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it."
|
|
|
Added: 2006-Dec-8 , 14:04
Men's Health
Medicare Health Insurance Medicare Health Insurance, in a nutshell: The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello." "Mrs. Ward, please." "Speaking" "Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible." "What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously. "Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can't tell which your husband's is." "That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Ward. "Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time." "Well, what am I supposed to do now?" "The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.”
Men's Health-Mesterolone, Cialis, Levitra, Propecia, Viagra, Cialis Soft Tabs, Viagra Soft Tabs
|
|
|
|
